I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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