I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
