Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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