I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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