Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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