So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
