I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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