One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
