fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
