Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
