i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
