If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
