Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
