What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
