my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
