Sponge bath it is.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
