nut hugger
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
