I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
