the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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