he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize