not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
