she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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