You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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