Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
