You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
