The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
