your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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