He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
