We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
