I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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