dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
