Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
