so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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