just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
