I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How does one acquire holy water?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
