I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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