Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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