This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Randomize
