that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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