is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
