I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
