the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
