Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
