Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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