That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
