then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
