tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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