some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
