Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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