shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
