I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
