Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
