Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
