Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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