i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
