I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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