speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
